Happy almost spring, everyone! I apologize for my lack of posting… it turns out that even when I’m not dating I keep myself way too damn busy. The next few weeks are going to be quite the whirlwind!
It is only a few days away from spring, and we have gotten about a foot of snow up my way. Fun times for this southern girl. Hopefully it’ll be over soon and we can get some damn sunshine.
Anyway, I’ve been having a few revelations lately and wanted to jot them down before they left me forever. I’ve been doing the no-dating thing for a couple of weeks now. So, let me just preface this, I will still go on dates, just no online dating. If I happen to meet someone organically, fair game. I am not seeking anyone or anything though. I really have tried to shift my focus to myself. I have found that when I was trying so hard to date, I was really looking for someone who could complete part of me, and make me feel whole, instead of focusing on feeling that way on my own. Now that I am looking at things through this new “I’mma do me” lens, that is glaringly obvious.
One of the things that I’ve realized through all of this self-awareness (yes, like a Skynet machine, I am becoming self aware) is that I have been stamping down my inner weirdness to try to be accepted by other people.
Yeah, fuck that.
For one, how can one quantify one’s weirdness? To me, the amount of “weird” that I am is really whatever is perceived by another human. So maybe I’m extra weird, maybe I’m not weird at all, that depends on you. But, how much does another opinion matter when it comes to that? None, in a perfect world. I should be allowed to be however strange and random that my heart desires.
Secondly, what the fuck is even wrong with being weird? I think. About everything. All the time. And that makes me weird? Fuck that, also. It’s sad that we live in a world where thinking differently gets you put into this negative weird box.
This leads me to revelation #3. I should never have to try to be less weird, or the appropriate amount of weird, for anyone else. I was 100% doing that in the dating world. Especially since most of the guys I was involved with were fuckboys with no drive in life to be anything at all, no creative bone in their body, no passion, nothing. FUCK THAT, TOO. I am glad I made the decision to stop before I let myself self destruct any further.
The point is, it’s okay to be weird. In fact, I think people need to start welcoming it. I embrace hearing new points of view and seeing new ways of thinking. It’s energizing and enlightening. I don’t want to be surrounded by people who function like mindless drones. So be random! Think what you want, say what you want, DO what you want. Be yourself and be true to yourself. It’s the best way to be. And if that is considered weird, then be weird.