Tag: happy

carpe la vie

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I’m baaaaccckk! This post may be a little lengthy, because I have a lot to say. Also, I know carpe la vie isn’t actually a thing, but it maybe should be.

First, let’s talk about my trip. DR was basically amazing, for several different reasons. It’s a beautiful place, so you can’t really go wrong there.. but I also met some really awesome people. Turns out that wedding crashing has a few perks!

One of the beautiful things about going to a place like the Dominican Republic is the opportunity to completely disconnect. I am admittedly very connected all the time, and I sometimes feel very lost when I don’t have a phone or tablet nearby to stay up to speed on what is going on. In Punta Cana, I was able to step away from that. Ok.. the WiFi sucked ass, so I was partially forced to, but you get the point. I’ve been trying to be better about stepping away from screens, and this was a good opportunity to do that. I didn’t record performances, I didn’t take a shit-ton of selfies (just a moderate ton), and most importantly.. I just focused on the moment. 

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here’s a post that is about me, and not boys.

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Okay, it’s maybe a little about boys. Well.. relationships, as always.

I’ve been doing okay with the whole dating thing. I met a guy who actually seems like a really good guy, which I feel like was getting tough and making me extremely bitter towards the whole dating scene. Great, right? Wrong! Have you met me?! I am the queen of overthinking everything, and I can break things so very easily. Sometimes, I even break them on purpose. I’ve mentioned before that I like to push people away. It’s like pushing a glass vase off of a shelf to see if it breaks. Guess what… it does! And then you’re all pissed off because you had this lovely glass vase and now, gone. Shattered. Kaput. 

Anyway, I haven’t done this yet with this one, but I have noticed something that I thought was worth writing about.

When my walls come down, theirs go up. I think this is because I start any relationship EXTREMELY guarded, and when I start letting someone in, they get this full 100% blast of Tempest that they maybe didn’t expect and certainly weren’t prepared for. Hence: walls. Like oh shit, this girl has a super strong personality and I don’t know how to human anymore! (They probably aren’t thinking that, but you get the gist…)

The new challenge I am now facing is how do I let enough of my true self shine through in the beginning, without feeling vulnerable and afraid to peek over my very well built and well maintained walls. In theory, I should start breaking some of them down. I know this. But guys, I have worked a LONG time on building these bitches up, the idea of tearing them down is terrifying.

Or could it be that I just haven’t met the right person that can handle the me that is scared, and hides, and is afraid to love, but also the me who is passionate, and brave, and over the top? Can I be allowed to have my walls sometimes, but still have someone see me as me? Is that a thing?

Until next time!

XOXO, Tempest.

appreciate.

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Sorry for the gap in posting!! I just got back from a much needed vacation before starting a longgggg few weeks of work.

My vacation was pretty awesome. I got to hang out with good friends, drink a lot of booze, and revisit my happy place… Cozumel. I always hear people talk about how overrated Cozumel and many cities in Mexico are, but I absolutely love this place. Not the super touristy parts of course, but the pure and natural beauty of the island. Crystal clear turquoise waters, shimmering sands, and perfect blue skies.

Going to places like this really make you stop, think, and appreciate what you have. Appreciate the fact that you’re alive to visit this place, that you have the means to get there, that you can feel the sand under your toes and the breeze on your face. Smell the salty ocean air. I am very hard on myself 99% of the time, and going to “my happy place” reminds me that it’s okay to let go of cares and worries, at least for a little while.