Tag: lifestyleblog

the bear and the maiden fair.

.Reading time 4 minutes.

Before I kick off this post, let’s get a few things straight.

  1. I do not watch Game of Thrones.
  2. I do not have honey in my hair. That sounds sticky. And I think it would attract bugs.
  3. This is a post about dating, but it’s a good one, so you are welcome.

Now that that’s done..

I met someone, and the situation is still very new, but this person makes me very happy and it’s simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.  Since I like to keep things anonymous here, this new person will be referred to as Bear, or B, depending on my level of laziness.

I’ve written before about how I struggle with staying happy and positive. I attribute this to a very realistic and logical view on the world and how hard it can be, and the circumstances that I personally have dealt with in life… losing my mother, having a failed marriage, and the family issues that have popped up over the past few years. I try so hard to be happy, and to be a light for anyone that I come in contact with. I succeed sometimes, and sometimes I fail. But I try. Even with effort, though, it can be hard to push through the bullshit sometimes and really feel inexplicably happy. I can honestly say, at the time of writing this, that this person is making me feel exactly that.

I would say I don’t know how it happened, but I know exactly how the stars aligned for these things to fall into place. One, I was very happy with life in general. I had found out a few days prior to meeting Bear that I was getting a promotion… not just a promotion, mind you, but two job offers for a promotion that allowed me the freedom to choose. Then, I got to go see my all time favorite band over the weekend at the beach to celebrate. I was riding pretty high. And then, this guy pops up. I met him on one of those godforsaken dating apps, and honestly, I was very close to the point of removing them from my life again. We only talked for a couple of days, but it was all great. He’s so smart. And funny. And charming. And cute. I was immediately enthralled. Our conversations were fun, sometimes silly, sometimes serious, always engaging. That continued on into our first date. He had me laughing immediately, and everything was so easy and natural. I didn’t want the night to end. I was high on happiness, and it was amazing.

Since then, we’ve seen each other quite often. I can’t get enough of him, and that is a very new feeling for me. As someone who has always been insanely self reliant, it’s strange to let myself be vulnerable with someone new, especially this quickly. But for reasons beyond my explanation, I feel a connection with B that I didn’t really think possible in the amount of time that we’ve known each other. Sweet jesus, this is mushy.

Anyway, I realize that this is still early, and things could change. I hope they don’t, though. I know that being open to happiness also means I’m opening myself up to potential hurt. For this one, though, I am surprisingly okay with it.

More to come!

xoxo,

Tempest.

the freedom cage.

.Reading time 5 minutes.

I’ve been terrible at posting. I keep thinking of all of the things that I need to say, and sometimes it just takes me a while to get my head around them enough to put my thoughts into words.

A few updates, and then a few thoughts on something that has been on my mind lately: how easy it is to become caged by freedom.

So, on dating. I will have a new post soon about someone I met recently. Yes, this person deserves their very own post. But for any consistent readers, everyone referenced in Chapter 47 is long gone. And that definitely includes Prince Eric, who turned out to be quite the asshole. I can’t say that I’m surprised, and thank god that infatuation is over.

What else is new… I got a promotion at work! I feel like quite the badass for being promoted within a year. It makes it feel so worth it to have made the move and made such a big change in my life. Onward and upward!

One of the things that I have cherished in my adult life is the ability to have the freedom to do what I want. Things like uprooting and moving to a new state and starting a new chapter, without having to answer to anyone. But sometimes, I think we can become caged by our freedom.

I think this has happened to me to an extent, and it has definitely impacted who I am. I have focused so much on being free and living a full life that I design, that I’ve subsequently kept people and relationships at arm’s length. It’s only recently that I’ve realized how imprisoning freedom can actually be. Yes, I can pick up and start over at any point, because it’s just me. But at the same time, it’s just me. Staying in the same place through life allows you to build substantial long term relationships, and I haven’t done that. I’ve moved every few years and started over.

On one hand, it’s exhilarating to be able to start anew. You can rebuild who you are. You can learn new experiences. You can challenge yourself to do things you’ve never done before. You can surprise yourself by achieving things that seem so out of reach to so many people. On the other, it’s terrifying. It causes you to isolate yourself. Trust only yourself. Feel alone and like you only have yourself to rely on.

I’m at a point now where I want to be able to really start settling in my life, and stop constantly hunting for this idea of freedom. I want to surround myself with people who challenge me, instead of just putting myself into challenging situations. I want to do the things I’ve never done before by discovering new depths within myself, instead of discovering a new area code. I want to learn to let my guard down and share my achievements with people who care about me.

I will not say that some of these things don’t already happen, because they absolutely do. I am lucky to have a few very good friends and people in my life. I just know that this is something that I can improve on. I can be a stronger, better me by learning to let myself live in a way that doesn’t require me to always seek a new challenge. That’s what is interesting about the idea of escaping the freedom cage. Maybe letting go of the idea of chasing freedom will be the most freeing thing I experience.

Until next time!

xoxo

Tempest.