carpe la vie

I’m baaaaccckk! This post may be a little lengthy, because I have a lot to say. Also, I know carpe la vie isn’t actually a thing, but it maybe should be.

First, let’s talk about my trip. DR was basically amazing, for several different reasons. It’s a beautiful place, so you can’t really go wrong there.. but I also met some really awesome people. Turns out that wedding crashing has a few perks!

One of the beautiful things about going to a place like the Dominican Republic is the opportunity to completely disconnect. I am admittedly very connected all the time, and I sometimes feel very lost when I don’t have a phone or tablet nearby to stay up to speed on what is going on. In Punta Cana, I was able to step away from that. Ok.. the WiFi sucked ass, so I was partially forced to, but you get the point. I’ve been trying to be better about stepping away from screens, and this was a good opportunity to do that. I didn’t record performances, I didn’t take a shit-ton of selfies (just a moderate ton), and most importantly.. I just focused on the moment. 

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brb, life.

Hey folks.. I know I’ve been a little quiet lately, mainly because I’ve been sooo damn busy (As always!). I regret to say I will probably not be posting for another week or so. When I say regret, I am 100% lying. As it turns out, I am heading out of the country to the Dominican Republic for a friend of a friend’s wedding (yeah, I’m crashing, so what?!) and will be off the grid for about a week! There’s a real good chance I don’t come back.. I would say I’m going to go live off the land but uh, let’s be real, I wouldn’t make it a day if I had to fend for myself. 

Anyway, here are some quick updates on my current situation and how I’m doing. I’m actually hanging in there. The whole moving across the country thing and having to start from scratch in life isn’t beating me down so badly. I’ve had a few rough patches, sure, but overall things are looking up. 

This time of the year is definitely hard for me with the holidays. I completely miss my mom. My mom was insane about holidays, she was always the one overdoing it and making everything a big deal, so her absence is even more noticable during this time of the year. However, with Thanksgiving coming up, I’ve started reflecting on my life. Yeah, I don’t have a mom anymore, and that sucks, but there are a lot of things I DO have, and some of those things are pretty badass.

  1. I have an amazing ability to make friends, and am lucky to have some already to spend Thanksgiving with up here in the northeast. Seriously, this would suck if I hadn’t met a few really kickass people.
  2. I’m kind of a superhero. Humble, I know. I have a tendency to be very, VERY hard on myself. I’m going to be single forever, I struggle with my weight, but when I really break it down, I feel like I am strong and driven and successful… much more than I let on. I’m 30 years old and in a very respectable position in my company. I’ve gotten promoted every 2 years for the last 10. I’m doing this while going back to school and maintaining a 4.0 GPA. That’s pretty commendable, if I do say so myself.
  3. I’m not a shitty person. The world is really quite full of people who are just…well…bad (coughdonaldtrumpcough) these days. People have become crass. They don’t care. They don’t consider how the things they do impact other humans. While it may be seen as weakness to some, I am proud to be empathetic and a caretaker of the people who are important to me. I’m glad to have goals and values and morals. I’m okay with being alone if it means I am not settling and am focusing on being with people who only make me better. 

With those extra deep insights said, I will now leave you guys here in the digital world to go partake in a connection-free life for a bit. Amazing pictures coming soon!
XOXO, Tempest

getting a little shifty..

I’m writing this from a train, because per C, there is something very literary about writing on a train and I figured I would own it and let the power of the train fuel my creative juices (or something whimsical like that?)

I am coming out of the slump I have been in for the past couple of weeks. The bitterness has definitely subsided and I’m coming to terms with a few things. I’ve also entered a bit of a paradigm shift when it comes to dating.. as in, I’m back off of it for the goal of dating. Hmm.. Let me talk about these things in order before I ramble too much.

The Attack of the Blues:
Moving across the country at 30 years old is REALLY hard. Like, legitimately really hard. It’s emotionally traumatic. I don’t use the word traumatic lightly, if that tells you anything.

I realize a lot of people do this, and I myself have moved several times in my life, but I’ve always had some type of a buffer that I didn’t have on this move. My first “big” move was moving away for college, which I went with my high school best friend and then roommate. The second time was with my ex husband for his job. The third time was leaving my ex husband, so I literally couldn’t get away fast enough, and I also was moving in with a good friend which lessened the blow of moving to a brand new place.

This time, though… this time. I moved for work, and while I do have an amazing job… work is not all that it takes to fulfill you. I know this, and I knew this going in. As much as I was aware of the facts, however, I am also extremely impatient. I am not good at waiting for things to come together… I would much rather them simply fall into place. When they inevitably didn’t, I got more and more frustrated with my situation.

Here’s where this gets a little tougher. I pride myself on my ability to connect with people, and I LOVE being around people. When I enter any kind of slump or get bluesy.. two things happen. 1. I lose my amazing personality and ability to connect, and 2. I push people away  (see: push and you’ll find out exactly what I mean). The end result? I’m lonely and grumpy and sad. Blech. Life can really be a bitch sometimes, amirite?

I decided to do something about it. And I thought. A lot. Which led to…

The Comeback!:

I have realized over the past 4 weeks of being lonely, stressed, sad, disorganized, and a general emotional wreck that I am exceptionally terrible at taking care of my self. Okay, okay… I know I’ve maybe mentioned this before (read: no)… I am a caretaker of others, and I do tend to ignore myself and my needs. But this alone time has really shown me just how much I do that. When the option to take care of others was removed.. I was forced to look at what I do for myself. Which, as it turns out, is very little.

So, I started.

I started to hold myself accountable to doing the things that I want to do.

I started pushing myself outside of my boundaries. I put myself in situations I wouldn’t be comfortable with to meet new friends. I went to a new yoga class. I joined a book club. I put my phone away and read for hours, with no social media or texting to interrupt me. I took myself to the movies (truth be told, I’ve always done that, but hey, it counts).

What I’ve learned through this is my personal obligations for myself are just as important, if not more important, as they are to anyone else. I can take care of me, and doing that feels really good.


With all that said, this comeback is still 100% a work in progress. I have a lot of growing to do before I really can say I completely have my shit together. I’m moving in the right direction though, and that can only mean good things.

xoxo, Tempest.


I’ve been out of my element for about two weeks now, and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t wearing on me a little bit. It is very strange. I feel… Out of sorts. I don’t really know anyone here. When I say this to my friends back home everyone is like, “What, you? You have all kinds of friends!” No, no. I do not have many, if any, friends here. I have acquaintances. I’m surprisingly adept at making acquaintances, to the point where I would consider meeting people and striking a common chord a super power.

People who have my back though… Different story altogether.

Mix that with my amazingly wide open social calendar and yeah, not the best feeling in the world I guess. I’m not used to having nothing to do, and it gets me down. It puts me in a spot where I want to just do nothing. I don’t feel like going out and meeting people and having to be cool girl right now. I don’t feel like having to put on a smile 24 fucking 7 when really I want to veg out and feel sorry for myself. Work is great, and I’m damn good at my job, but fuck, I’m lonely. I’m not good at being lonely. Being alone, absolutely. Lonely… Not so much.

The worst part is, I don’t even have anyone I can really talk to about it. My friends back home are trucking along. I don’t have anyone here really so… I guess I can talk to my cat? Ugh. This life.

Anyway, hopefully this won’t last long. I’m going to try and just focus on work and getting my new place all prettied up and go from there. It’ll work out, one way or another. It always does.

xoxo, Tempest.



201, 910, 908, 434, 804, 757, 404, 678, 706, 319, 252, 770, 912, 501, 713, 423, 862, 276, 773,203, 864…

These are all the zip codes of all the people I’ve dated since I was… of dating age. For the record, those are all based on a minimum of one date, so don’t go thinking I’ve REALLY gotten around.. although I think I’ve covered maybe most of the Eastern seaboard at this point.

As a disclaimer, most of these dates happened in my own town and were people who just originated from other places, but a decent amount happened with people I met during travel. I’ve also met people through my career that are based in different cities, and even had a few romantic counters in that arena as well. This may seem strange to some, like what’s the point in dating when you’re traveling, but I think for me it boils down to… curiosity. I love hearing people’s stories and finding out about different ways of life, discovering local places to eat, drink, and hangout, and generally broadening my horizons when meeting new people. Essentially, although I knew the date would likely not end in some great romance, the experience of learning about someone’s upbringing and way of life is intriguing to me.

Okay, bear with me, I know the title references “hoes in different area codes,” but that was just a gimmick to get you to read this. Obviously I don’t consider most of the people I’ve dated hoes. In fact, I try to steer away from them, because I know myself very well and know I can get attached, so pursuing someone that is looking for something purely casual is a good way to get myself hurt fast.

My point here is simply that, I’ve made it a point to date around and to experience new and different people whenever I could. Through this, I’ve quickly determined something about men… they’re all the same, no matter where you go or where you come from. You will always have assholes, and clingers, and yeah maybe a good guy here or there too. It took me a little bit to start putting this all together. I had this crazy idea in my head that I was not as hot in my home city, Atlanta, because guys there tend to go to the fun blonde sorority girls, and that I could date ANYONE I WANTED in another city. This isn’t true, by the way.

My family has always told me they think I should just find a good ole southern boy. I don’t know if that will necessarily happen. There are times when I’ve thought that I should settle down with a guy like that but… I’ve lived that life. I’ve been a southern girl, in a small town, and in a big city. For now, I’ll continue enjoying the exploration that comes my way.

Till next time, Tempest.