impending birthday dread.

Up until 2013, I loved my birthday, and everything about it. I would make everything a huge birthday bash, and usually would have a pretty good turn out. Since 2013, I still stay very busy around my birthday.. but unfortunately, since then, the birthday excitement is also accompanied by impending birthday dread.

It’s not just the getting older. That’s life, and it kinda sucks, and I do feel a little closer to dying alone every year… but it really boils down to my mom. I’ve written about this before, but my mom made a big fuss about everything holiday and birthday related. She always went over the top for any kinds of celebrations. It was annoying sometimes, but it also made things special. Especially birthdays. It felt like someone was always celebrating you.

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hey, don’t be a dick

Am I a misanthrope? Truly? Or am I just fed up with the way people act these days? Find out next time on Tempest Wants to Throat Punch People on a Regular Basis.

In all seriousness though, I’ve really started to get a little pissed off at the way people act. I don’t understand why people find it so hard to not be a dick to others. Granted, I am not the nicest person in the world, but I do try to be a good person overall. When someone needs help, I try to be there for them. When someone needs to talk, I try to listen. It’s really not even hard to do this. The problem is, there are so many people out there that just.. don’t. People just act like they can treat others any sort of way, and that it’s okay and doesn’t impact them.

After much consideration, I think I’ve determined where some of this treatment comes from. In today’s technology age, people aren’t real.  I’ve written about this a little bit in terms of dating, but it actually expands to just general human nature. Everyone is interacting behind a screen, and virtue of having a real, human connection is getting lost.

The scary thing about this is that it’s not going to change or get any better anytime soon. People will continue relying on technology more and more, until it’s too late and the machines rise and take over  and we lose our fundamental ability to connect. This isn’t a dating post, but I do think this contributes to my own relationship woes… many of the guys I’ve dated are guys that I met via the internet, so they could treat me however they wanted, and it was okay but I was not a person, but a character on the interwebs.

Everyone is interacting behind a screen, and virtue of having a real, human connection is getting lost.

I’m making a vow to myself this year to get away from the screen. Not a resolution, mind you, but the commitment to have real, human, connections. I realize that one person won’t be what makes a difference, but maybe in this experiment I can help others connect too. If nothing else, maybe it’ll help me become a better person, and find people who aren’t complete dicks about how they live their life and treat other people.

xoxo, Tempest.

 

chivalry is dead, and no one even showed up to the funeral.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope that everyone had a safe and happy New Year’s Eve, and that 2017 is treating you well so far.

Mercury is in retrograde, so I’ve been staying in hermit mode for the past few days. I’m going to keep it low key this week too. I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking over the past week or so, which was triggered by the whole “New Year, New Me” bullshit that everyone pedals during the holiday season.

I am finally fed up with all the fuckboys out there, and maybe it won’t be a new year, new me phenomena, but I am completely done settling for their bullshit, giving them second chances, and exposing myself to people who are not worth my time. 

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soundtrack to 2016.

Oh, hey guys! Two posts in one day… watch out!!

Since I just kicked off my new “Lyrically Speaking” category, I though I’d hit you guys with some of my most-listened-to songs this year, and maybe a few tidbits of what they meant to me. Thanks, Spotify, for making this shit easy to reflect on.

I painstakingly listened to all the music I love to find you the top 10, in no particular order. Enjoy!

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lyrically speaking…

I know I mostly seem to only write about my mediocre love life, but I actually have been wanting to start up a new category for a while. I figure, we have a new year upon us, so why not now?

This new category is called Lyrically Speaking. Aside from spending my time trying to figure out my fucked up life, I really love music. I am not musically inclined, but I grew up dancing (ballet, not exotic, for any pervs out there) and music has always spoken to me.

I find that there is no situation in life that can’t be expressed through music. Anytime I feel down or out, or high and happy, there is always music to back up the mood.

I can also sometimes get a read on a mood before I even really accept it based solely on the type of music I listen to. I’m a huge 311 fanatic, and I notice that when I’m getting into a funk, I’m more likely to listen to 311. Their lyrics are positive, uplifting, and have gotten me through many a bluesy day.

I also have a pretty strong emo kid hiding inside me. I still listen to Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional, Panic! at the Disco.. etc..etc… etc.

Anyway, now that you know the background on this shiny new category, welcome to Lyrically Speaking! I hope you enjoy!

no. cuffing. please.

Warning: This post says fuck a lot.

Have you guys heard of this whole “cuffing season” thing? Some strange phenomenon where, during the winter months, these dumb ass boys decide they want to be in a “relationship” because you know…it’s cold, lonely, and generally depressing to be alone on the holidays? Apparently this is a thing. Seriously. Look it up. I’ll wait.

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christmas in new york

Happy week before Christmas, everyone!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time, then you know that I recently moved to the Northeast from the dirty South. The past few days, a friend and I went on a NYC Christmas Extravaganza! If you’ve never been in NYC around Christmas, you owe it to yourself to see the city. Everything is decked out, and there is so much to do. I’ve been a bit of a Grinch lately (most people say bitch, but we will Christmas it up), so this was pretty fun for me as a whole.

We went to Bryant Park, which has a whole Christmas Village setup, complete with tree and ice skating. And shops, lots of shops. We went to the Rockefeller Center, of course! And the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall! It was so much fun!

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:)

Less frownies more brownies. 

so, did 2016 suck for everyone?

Oh, December. The end of the year. The time when people start thinking about new beginnings, making resolutions that they won’t keep, putting on pounds that they won’t shed, and thinking of all the wonderful things to come…that probably won’t.

And, time to reflect on the year that has passed. 2016. Fuck You, 2016.

I’ve had a few rough years lately. I hope that 2017 will be better, but with my luck lately… meh. I got divorced in 2012. I lost my mom in 2013. 2014 was a blur of trying to figure things out. I almost died in 2015.

And in 2016, I went through a lot of shit with people and relocated my entire existence to a new place where I knew very few people and had little to no support system. So, don’t fault me when I say I don’t have high hopes for the new year.

I will say, though, out of all the shit I’ve dealt with in 2016, the one good thing that has come of it is that I’ve really started to learn who I am, and who my true friends are. It’s been very tough to go through this process… harder than you can probably imagine, but, I hope the payoff will be worth it one day. I found my self worth and stopped letting people take advantage of me or lead me on. I stopped saying yes to appease other people and started calling people out when they were being complete dicks. And I’m slowly starting to learn to embrace being alone, since that seems like a thing for me now.

But really, did 2016 suck for anyone else? I feel like my entire Instagram feed is full of posts about drinking to forget everything, how hard it is to adult, and general self loathing? Or are these just the things I’ve subconsciously sought out?

Sorry for the negative post folks…just feeling a bit bitter these days. Woosahhh.

xoxo, Tempest.