Category: Time To Get Real.

hey, don’t be a dick

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Am I a misanthrope? Truly? Or am I just fed up with the way people act these days? Find out next time on Tempest Wants to Throat Punch People on a Regular Basis.

In all seriousness though, I’ve really started to get a little pissed off at the way people act. I don’t understand why people find it so hard to not be a dick to others. Granted, I am not the nicest person in the world, but I do try to be a good person overall. When someone needs help, I try to be there for them. When someone needs to talk, I try to listen. It’s really not even hard to do this. The problem is, there are so many people out there that just.. don’t. People just act like they can treat others any sort of way, and that it’s okay and doesn’t impact them.

After much consideration, I think I’ve determined where some of this treatment comes from. In today’s technology age, people aren’t real.  I’ve written about this a little bit in terms of dating, but it actually expands to just general human nature. Everyone is interacting behind a screen, and virtue of having a real, human connection is getting lost.

The scary thing about this is that it’s not going to change or get any better anytime soon. People will continue relying on technology more and more, until it’s too late and the machines rise and take over  and we lose our fundamental ability to connect. This isn’t a dating post, but I do think this contributes to my own relationship woes… many of the guys I’ve dated are guys that I met via the internet, so they could treat me however they wanted, and it was okay but I was not a person, but a character on the interwebs.

Everyone is interacting behind a screen, and virtue of having a real, human connection is getting lost.

I’m making a vow to myself this year to get away from the screen. Not a resolution, mind you, but the commitment to have real, human, connections. I realize that one person won’t be what makes a difference, but maybe in this experiment I can help others connect too. If nothing else, maybe it’ll help me become a better person, and find people who aren’t complete dicks about how they live their life and treat other people.

xoxo, Tempest.

 

soundtrack to 2016.

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Oh, hey guys! Two posts in one day… watch out!!

Since I just kicked off my new “Lyrically Speaking” category, I though I’d hit you guys with some of my most-listened-to songs this year, and maybe a few tidbits of what they meant to me. Thanks, Spotify, for making this shit easy to reflect on.

I painstakingly listened to all the music I love to find you the top 10, in no particular order. Enjoy!

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lyrically speaking…

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I know I mostly seem to only write about my mediocre love life, but I actually have been wanting to start up a new category for a while. I figure, we have a new year upon us, so why not now?

This new category is called Lyrically Speaking. Aside from spending my time trying to figure out my fucked up life, I really love music. I am not musically inclined, but I grew up dancing (ballet, not exotic, for any pervs out there) and music has always spoken to me.

I find that there is no situation in life that can’t be expressed through music. Anytime I feel down or out, or high and happy, there is always music to back up the mood.

I can also sometimes get a read on a mood before I even really accept it based solely on the type of music I listen to. I’m a huge 311 fanatic, and I notice that when I’m getting into a funk, I’m more likely to listen to 311. Their lyrics are positive, uplifting, and have gotten me through many a bluesy day.

I also have a pretty strong emo kid hiding inside me. I still listen to Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional, Panic! at the Disco.. etc..etc… etc.

Anyway, now that you know the background on this shiny new category, welcome to Lyrically Speaking! I hope you enjoy!

no. cuffing. please.

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Warning: This post says fuck a lot.

Have you guys heard of this whole “cuffing season” thing? Some strange phenomenon where, during the winter months, these dumb ass boys decide they want to be in a “relationship” because you know…it’s cold, lonely, and generally depressing to be alone on the holidays? Apparently this is a thing. Seriously. Look it up. I’ll wait.

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christmas in new york

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Happy week before Christmas, everyone!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time, then you know that I recently moved to the Northeast from the dirty South. The past few days, a friend and I went on a NYC Christmas Extravaganza! If you’ve never been in NYC around Christmas, you owe it to yourself to see the city. Everything is decked out, and there is so much to do. I’ve been a bit of a Grinch lately (most people say bitch, but we will Christmas it up), so this was pretty fun for me as a whole.

We went to Bryant Park, which has a whole Christmas Village setup, complete with tree and ice skating. And shops, lots of shops. We went to the Rockefeller Center, of course! And the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall! It was so much fun!

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:)

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Less frownies more brownies. 

so, did 2016 suck for everyone?

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Oh, December. The end of the year. The time when people start thinking about new beginnings, making resolutions that they won’t keep, putting on pounds that they won’t shed, and thinking of all the wonderful things to come…that probably won’t.

And, time to reflect on the year that has passed. 2016. Fuck You, 2016.

I’ve had a few rough years lately. I hope that 2017 will be better, but with my luck lately… meh. I got divorced in 2012. I lost my mom in 2013. 2014 was a blur of trying to figure things out. I almost died in 2015.

And in 2016, I went through a lot of shit with people and relocated my entire existence to a new place where I knew very few people and had little to no support system. So, don’t fault me when I say I don’t have high hopes for the new year.

I will say, though, out of all the shit I’ve dealt with in 2016, the one good thing that has come of it is that I’ve really started to learn who I am, and who my true friends are. It’s been very tough to go through this process… harder than you can probably imagine, but, I hope the payoff will be worth it one day. I found my self worth and stopped letting people take advantage of me or lead me on. I stopped saying yes to appease other people and started calling people out when they were being complete dicks. And I’m slowly starting to learn to embrace being alone, since that seems like a thing for me now.

But really, did 2016 suck for anyone else? I feel like my entire Instagram feed is full of posts about drinking to forget everything, how hard it is to adult, and general self loathing? Or are these just the things I’ve subconsciously sought out?

Sorry for the negative post folks…just feeling a bit bitter these days. Woosahhh.

xoxo, Tempest.

 

carpe la vie

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I’m baaaaccckk! This post may be a little lengthy, because I have a lot to say. Also, I know carpe la vie isn’t actually a thing, but it maybe should be.

First, let’s talk about my trip. DR was basically amazing, for several different reasons. It’s a beautiful place, so you can’t really go wrong there.. but I also met some really awesome people. Turns out that wedding crashing has a few perks!

One of the beautiful things about going to a place like the Dominican Republic is the opportunity to completely disconnect. I am admittedly very connected all the time, and I sometimes feel very lost when I don’t have a phone or tablet nearby to stay up to speed on what is going on. In Punta Cana, I was able to step away from that. Ok.. the WiFi sucked ass, so I was partially forced to, but you get the point. I’ve been trying to be better about stepping away from screens, and this was a good opportunity to do that. I didn’t record performances, I didn’t take a shit-ton of selfies (just a moderate ton), and most importantly.. I just focused on the moment. 

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brb, life.

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Hey folks.. I know I’ve been a little quiet lately, mainly because I’ve been sooo damn busy (As always!). I regret to say I will probably not be posting for another week or so. When I say regret, I am 100% lying. As it turns out, I am heading out of the country to the Dominican Republic for a friend of a friend’s wedding (yeah, I’m crashing, so what?!) and will be off the grid for about a week! There’s a real good chance I don’t come back.. I would say I’m going to go live off the land but uh, let’s be real, I wouldn’t make it a day if I had to fend for myself. 

Anyway, here are some quick updates on my current situation and how I’m doing. I’m actually hanging in there. The whole moving across the country thing and having to start from scratch in life isn’t beating me down so badly. I’ve had a few rough patches, sure, but overall things are looking up. 

This time of the year is definitely hard for me with the holidays. I completely miss my mom. My mom was insane about holidays, she was always the one overdoing it and making everything a big deal, so her absence is even more noticable during this time of the year. However, with Thanksgiving coming up, I’ve started reflecting on my life. Yeah, I don’t have a mom anymore, and that sucks, but there are a lot of things I DO have, and some of those things are pretty badass.

  1. I have an amazing ability to make friends, and am lucky to have some already to spend Thanksgiving with up here in the northeast. Seriously, this would suck if I hadn’t met a few really kickass people.
  2. I’m kind of a superhero. Humble, I know. I have a tendency to be very, VERY hard on myself. I’m going to be single forever, I struggle with my weight, but when I really break it down, I feel like I am strong and driven and successful… much more than I let on. I’m 30 years old and in a very respectable position in my company. I’ve gotten promoted every 2 years for the last 10. I’m doing this while going back to school and maintaining a 4.0 GPA. That’s pretty commendable, if I do say so myself.
  3. I’m not a shitty person. The world is really quite full of people who are just…well…bad (coughdonaldtrumpcough) these days. People have become crass. They don’t care. They don’t consider how the things they do impact other humans. While it may be seen as weakness to some, I am proud to be empathetic and a caretaker of the people who are important to me. I’m glad to have goals and values and morals. I’m okay with being alone if it means I am not settling and am focusing on being with people who only make me better. 

With those extra deep insights said, I will now leave you guys here in the digital world to go partake in a connection-free life for a bit. Amazing pictures coming soon!
XOXO, Tempest. 

here’s a post that is about me, and not boys.

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Okay, it’s maybe a little about boys. Well.. relationships, as always.

I’ve been doing okay with the whole dating thing. I met a guy who actually seems like a really good guy, which I feel like was getting tough and making me extremely bitter towards the whole dating scene. Great, right? Wrong! Have you met me?! I am the queen of overthinking everything, and I can break things so very easily. Sometimes, I even break them on purpose. I’ve mentioned before that I like to push people away. It’s like pushing a glass vase off of a shelf to see if it breaks. Guess what… it does! And then you’re all pissed off because you had this lovely glass vase and now, gone. Shattered. Kaput. 

Anyway, I haven’t done this yet with this one, but I have noticed something that I thought was worth writing about.

When my walls come down, theirs go up. I think this is because I start any relationship EXTREMELY guarded, and when I start letting someone in, they get this full 100% blast of Tempest that they maybe didn’t expect and certainly weren’t prepared for. Hence: walls. Like oh shit, this girl has a super strong personality and I don’t know how to human anymore! (They probably aren’t thinking that, but you get the gist…)

The new challenge I am now facing is how do I let enough of my true self shine through in the beginning, without feeling vulnerable and afraid to peek over my very well built and well maintained walls. In theory, I should start breaking some of them down. I know this. But guys, I have worked a LONG time on building these bitches up, the idea of tearing them down is terrifying.

Or could it be that I just haven’t met the right person that can handle the me that is scared, and hides, and is afraid to love, but also the me who is passionate, and brave, and over the top? Can I be allowed to have my walls sometimes, but still have someone see me as me? Is that a thing?

Until next time!

XOXO, Tempest.