Tag: singlelife

height:asshole.

.Reading time 4 minutes.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you may have read an aside where I mentioned that one of the ways to get to my heart is to be 6’3. If you haven’t been reading my blog for a while, for shame, reader, for shame!! Anyway, I picked 6’3 as a very specific height, and here’s why. I’m 5’10, so you would think I would LOVE a guy who is way super taller than me, like 6’3+. To be honest, I used to. When I met a guy who was 6’5, I would get all giddy, like “Ohemgeeee I get to feel like a little princess like all these short bitches!!” Right?! WRONG.

Here’s the thing about tall guys. Every inch above 6’3, they get an extra asshole point. I’m blanketing this statement…I’m sure there are guys that are very tall and very kind and generous, but the ones I’ve met and dated overall have been pretty strong in the douchebaggery category. Super tall guys think they’re hotter than they are, because they are tall, they get to act like a 9 when in real life they’re barely pushing a 7. Super tall guys think the world has to look up to them and they feel entitled. Super tall guys don’t stop fucking talking about how super tall they are. Yo homie, we can see you! Basically, super tall guys have an aura of being able to treat anyone however they want, because they’re “above you”.

I have said this to tall guys before, usually ones in that safe sub-6’3 zone, and they usually agree, but then point out that shorter guys have the Napoleon complex thing going on. If that is to be believed, that means that all women are basically fucked, because we get either tall assholes or short angry chihuahuas, right? Also wrong. There is definitely a sweet spot, and that sweet spot is 100% accented by character. Guys falling in the average height range seem to have a little more personality, versus guys going into the above average range that start getting cockier by the inch. I can attest to some guys having Napoleon complex in the shorter range, but that’s usually when the extreme lower quartile (5’5 or shorter, in my experience.) With all of this very proven scientific evidence, it is safe to assume the sweet spot probably lies between about 5’6 and about 6’2, give or take. Every inch above 6’3, there is a really good chance you are flirting dangerously with asshole category, and anyone above 6’5, forget it.

All in all, height, while it can be very important, doesn’t outweigh someone’s disposition. I don’t tend to date people shorter than me, not because I judge them at all (you can’t control your height), but because I’m essentially some kind of Amazon woman and I feel humongo in that scenario. However, I would much rather date someone shorter than me than someone who is a complete dick and doesn’t know how to treat other humans.

As a disclaimer, if you’re a tall guy reading this, please don’t be offended, I’m sure there are some good eggs out there. If you’re a tall guy reading this and you are, in fact an asshole, stop. You can still change your ways, and giving a shit about people is way way sexier than just acting like you’re the shit, all the time.

xoxo, Tempest.

dick pic.

.Reading time 7 minutes.

I’m going to start this post off by saying, gentlemen, there is never a time in life when a girl wants a dick pic for no reason. Never once have I woken up and thought to myself, “You know what would really just make my day better? A random dick pic.” You guys should also know that should you decide to send a random dick pic, it will be screenshotted, shared, and laughed about amongst our friends. This rule doesn’t hold true for requested dick pics, so don’t worry about that.

The guys who usually send random dick pics are, as one could guess, probably pretty proud of their junk and probably a little cocky. This was definitely the case when I received the most oddly timed and very unsolicited dick pic one day, after cancelling a date with the sender.

Here’s the story. I met this guy, and he was admittedly very good looking, but came off a bit cocky. Our first date was rocky to say the least, as he had a very condescending air, but when we talked otherwise he seemed pretty nice so I decided to give him a second chance. The keyword here is SEEMED. We plan a second date, and I’m en route when he calls and says the restaurant we selected has a long wait, so let’s go somewhere else. We were meeting on his side of town, so while I had heard of some of the restaurants, I wasn’t overly familiar with them. He told me of three places nearby and I said “Doesn’t matter to me, I’m good with whatever,” to which he responded “Well, you obviously can’t make a decision, so let’s go here.”

I’m sorry.

The fuck did you just say to me?

I tell him, calmly, I’m actually thinking maybe we aren’t compatible because what he had said came across as condescending, and I was feeling like we might have had some communication gaps and should call it quits before either of us wastes our time. Seems fair, right? Apparently not to him, as he then responded that I was clearly just looking for a free meal and was overreacting. Note: we had been on one date, where we split the check down the middle, so not sure where he pulled that from.

I told him that was fine if he felt that way, but I had a gut feeling that it was a red flag and didn’t think we should waste our time. I stayed pretty factual with the whole thing as to be cool about it, but I have learned not to ignore red flags. He then proceeds to tell me that he would still like to hang out, but because of the way I was acting he would definitely not pay for my food.

At this point I am pretty confused on where this guy gets off. I’m pretty established in my career, and while he may not know exactly how much I make, I drive a fairly decent car and don’t generally look homeless (unless it’s on purpose), so really confused as to where this guy has decided I’m looking for a handout. The fact that he was using paying for my dinner as some kind of punishment or threat though, really set those alarms off even more.

I respond to him by saying, no worries, you don’t have to pay for anything because I’m not going, I really just don’t think this is going to work.

He doesn’t like this.

Something on me reaffirming my decision sets him off. Mind you, I’ve been even-tempered and straight forward this entire conversation. He. Goes. Off. He proceeds to tell me:

  • I’m hopeless and will always be single
  • I can’t appreciate a good man
  • I have self esteem issues
  • I’m a bitch (several times)
  • etc..etc..

I stop responding, because the fact that he is going to this level to try to hurt my feelings after I decide not to continue dating him (after only one date!!) is telling me this guy is riding the crazy train. He finally stops after a few minutes, and I think I am in the clear. Phew!

But, reader, it’s not to be. About 30 minutes later, I get a dick pic, with the caption of “This is what you are missing but if you still don’t want to go out whatever.” Note: we were meeting in the evening, going to a somewhat decent restaurant…this picture was taken with him wearing basketball shorts during the day time. He clearly has this shit on reserve.

Needless to say, I did not respond, as that kind of crazy just doesn’t need encouraging. I definitely shared it with my friends. This guy has also messaged me since then, asking how I am and if I wanted to hang out. Cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Anyway, just to reiterate, don’t send dick pics randomly, to girls you’ve been on one date with, after calling them crazy and doing everything you can to hurt their feelings whilst showing you are fucking loony tunes. It doesn’t end well.

xoxo, Tempest.