Month: November 2016
carpe la vie
I’m baaaaccckk! This post may be a little lengthy, because I have a lot to say. Also, I know carpe la vie isn’t actually a thing, but it maybe should be.
First, let’s talk about my trip. DR was basically amazing, for several different reasons. It’s a beautiful place, so you can’t really go wrong there.. but I also met some really awesome people. Turns out that wedding crashing has a few perks!
One of the beautiful things about going to a place like the Dominican Republic is the opportunity to completely disconnect. I am admittedly very connected all the time, and I sometimes feel very lost when I don’t have a phone or tablet nearby to stay up to speed on what is going on. In Punta Cana, I was able to step away from that. Ok.. the WiFi sucked ass, so I was partially forced to, but you get the point. I’ve been trying to be better about stepping away from screens, and this was a good opportunity to do that. I didn’t record performances, I didn’t take a shit-ton of selfies (just a moderate ton), and most importantly.. I just focused on the moment.
brb, life.
Hey folks.. I know I’ve been a little quiet lately, mainly because I’ve been sooo damn busy (As always!). I regret to say I will probably not be posting for another week or so. When I say regret, I am 100% lying. As it turns out, I am heading out of the country to the Dominican Republic for a friend of a friend’s wedding (yeah, I’m crashing, so what?!) and will be off the grid for about a week! There’s a real good chance I don’t come back.. I would say I’m going to go live off the land but uh, let’s be real, I wouldn’t make it a day if I had to fend for myself.
Anyway, here are some quick updates on my current situation and how I’m doing. I’m actually hanging in there. The whole moving across the country thing and having to start from scratch in life isn’t beating me down so badly. I’ve had a few rough patches, sure, but overall things are looking up.
This time of the year is definitely hard for me with the holidays. I completely miss my mom. My mom was insane about holidays, she was always the one overdoing it and making everything a big deal, so her absence is even more noticable during this time of the year. However, with Thanksgiving coming up, I’ve started reflecting on my life. Yeah, I don’t have a mom anymore, and that sucks, but there are a lot of things I DO have, and some of those things are pretty badass.
- I have an amazing ability to make friends, and am lucky to have some already to spend Thanksgiving with up here in the northeast. Seriously, this would suck if I hadn’t met a few really kickass people.
- I’m kind of a superhero. Humble, I know. I have a tendency to be very, VERY hard on myself. I’m going to be single forever, I struggle with my weight, but when I really break it down, I feel like I am strong and driven and successful… much more than I let on. I’m 30 years old and in a very respectable position in my company. I’ve gotten promoted every 2 years for the last 10. I’m doing this while going back to school and maintaining a 4.0 GPA. That’s pretty commendable, if I do say so myself.
- I’m not a shitty person. The world is really quite full of people who are just…well…bad (coughdonaldtrumpcough) these days. People have become crass. They don’t care. They don’t consider how the things they do impact other humans. While it may be seen as weakness to some, I am proud to be empathetic and a caretaker of the people who are important to me. I’m glad to have goals and values and morals. I’m okay with being alone if it means I am not settling and am focusing on being with people who only make me better.
With those extra deep insights said, I will now leave you guys here in the digital world to go partake in a connection-free life for a bit. Amazing pictures coming soon!
XOXO, Tempest.
here’s a post that is about me, and not boys.
Okay, it’s maybe a little about boys. Well.. relationships, as always.
I’ve been doing okay with the whole dating thing. I met a guy who actually seems like a really good guy, which I feel like was getting tough and making me extremely bitter towards the whole dating scene. Great, right? Wrong! Have you met me?! I am the queen of overthinking everything, and I can break things so very easily. Sometimes, I even break them on purpose. I’ve mentioned before that I like to push people away. It’s like pushing a glass vase off of a shelf to see if it breaks. Guess what… it does! And then you’re all pissed off because you had this lovely glass vase and now, gone. Shattered. Kaput.
Anyway, I haven’t done this yet with this one, but I have noticed something that I thought was worth writing about.
When my walls come down, theirs go up. I think this is because I start any relationship EXTREMELY guarded, and when I start letting someone in, they get this full 100% blast of Tempest that they maybe didn’t expect and certainly weren’t prepared for. Hence: walls. Like oh shit, this girl has a super strong personality and I don’t know how to human anymore! (They probably aren’t thinking that, but you get the gist…)
The new challenge I am now facing is how do I let enough of my true self shine through in the beginning, without feeling vulnerable and afraid to peek over my very well built and well maintained walls. In theory, I should start breaking some of them down. I know this. But guys, I have worked a LONG time on building these bitches up, the idea of tearing them down is terrifying.
Or could it be that I just haven’t met the right person that can handle the me that is scared, and hides, and is afraid to love, but also the me who is passionate, and brave, and over the top? Can I be allowed to have my walls sometimes, but still have someone see me as me? Is that a thing?
Until next time!
XOXO, Tempest.
my therapist says im funny... 